Just to add a few more things. First, Buddhist hell realms are not permanent, eventually you come out of them, like everything else.
Vajrahell is almost impossible to get into. You'd need to make a true vajrayana connection with a teacher first before you can break the vows in this way - and most Westerners who think they have a guru in this sense just have a blessing connection to maybe some time in the future have a vajrayana teacher. You don't make this connection just by getting an initiation from someone and then they, or someone else, telling you that they are your vajrayana guru.
A Buddhist monk or nun can give up his or her vows at any time, it is called handing back the robes. So - first of all - it is not at all required that you become a nun - and most Buddhists don't do this.
But if you did want to become a nun and then you found that keeping the vows was too difficult, just hand the robes back. It only becomes bad conduct there if a monk or nun pretends that they are keeping the vows purely while secretly they are engaging in sexual liasons or any of the other major breeches of the vows.
And - this is the vinaya or discipline. That's different from vajrayana which is a later thing. Just saying, I wondered if you could have confused vinaya with vajrayana??
In some traditional Therevadhan countries then many youngsters become a novice monk or nun for a few weeks or days, as they reach maturity and then hand back the robes. Just to make a connection with that. So that is something you might be able to do also if it is meaningful to you, depending on tradition, where you live etc.
Then - hell realms here - there is no external judge in Buddhism imposing anything on you. It is just that through confusion we do things that lead us into suffering, due to our own over rigid, time line based, fixed way of lookingn at things and situations.
So, we have suffering in this life, yes. Also sometimes you have great times too, without a trace of suffering. And same can happen after you die. And same has happened for countless lives in the past. And sometimes those lives are happier and sometimes there is more suffering. And just as some people in this life may experience suffering and hardship for their entire life - well in future lives, not tied to a human body, as other forms of beings, you might suffer even longer, perhaps even for thousands of years, and perhaps more extreme sufferings. And other times might experience bliss and happiness for thousands of years. So the teachings suggest anyway.
But all this has happened countless times in the past, if it is true. Indeed, we are having a short vacation from the suffering of most lifetimes in most human lifetimes where we have things far better, far easier even than most animals.
So then this is our great opportunity to do something about it. So instead of worrying about the hell realms and suffering - they are no big deal in terms of Samsara in the sense that though awful - they are just what is normal for us.
One of the really powerful ways you can do to deal with this sense of hopelessness and despair is to reflect on the precious nature of our human rebirth, and how we have an opportunity to do something about it.
It is also an opportunity to think about others, that they also are in this same situation, and to open out to them as well, in compassion.
As the others have said, a good Buddhist teacher can help you to find your path or "dharma" here. We all have our own paths to follow and what works for me may not work for you. It is also a good idea though to try various teachers if you can.
Also since you mention Vajrayana, good to be aware that especially in the West some teachers can sometimes be confused and think they know what they are talking about when they don't, especially in the Vajrayana traditions.
A few Vajrayana practitioners who teach here are very confused and there are some scary stories about what they have said and things they have asked their students to do on the web. It's good to check them out, and if they are a good teacher then they will have a lineage going back and you can find out if they are teaching with permission of their teacher, and what their lineage says about them. And they will encourage you to examine their teachings carefully and to listen to teachings by other teachers also.
There is no need to take on a Vajrayana guru, and nobody can say they are your guru if you don't feel they are yourself, and traditionally if you did follow that path you follow your teacher for some years, almost always, before making such a commitment, and they also need to know you also equally well, and it is rare for Buddhist practitioners to do this, and is absolutely not required.
I think that for almost all Westerners the best path is a slow gentle one, take things slowly. You have thousands of lifetimes for this. As it is traditionally understood, Matreya, the next Buddha to be, is still not enlightened and won't be for thousands of years.
A few rare people do become enlightened very quickly, where quickly means, within a single lifetime. But for most it is a case of making a good connection with the teachings, and following them as best you can. And start small with things you can deal with right away. While it is of course perfectly okay and great, to have the inspiration of bodhicitta, or the wish that some time in the future you may be inspired to become a bodhisattva though you may not be able to do so yet - to just wish to be a bodhisattva is, in a way, to enter on that path and a powerful blessing and purification in itself.
Vajrahell is almost impossible to get into. You'd need to make a true vajrayana connection with a teacher first before you can break the vows in this way - and most Westerners who think they have a guru in this sense just have a blessing connection to maybe some time in the future have a vajrayana teacher. You don't make this connection just by getting an initiation from someone and then they, or someone else, telling you that they are your vajrayana guru.
A Buddhist monk or nun can give up his or her vows at any time, it is called handing back the robes. So - first of all - it is not at all required that you become a nun - and most Buddhists don't do this.
But if you did want to become a nun and then you found that keeping the vows was too difficult, just hand the robes back. It only becomes bad conduct there if a monk or nun pretends that they are keeping the vows purely while secretly they are engaging in sexual liasons or any of the other major breeches of the vows.
And - this is the vinaya or discipline. That's different from vajrayana which is a later thing. Just saying, I wondered if you could have confused vinaya with vajrayana??
In some traditional Therevadhan countries then many youngsters become a novice monk or nun for a few weeks or days, as they reach maturity and then hand back the robes. Just to make a connection with that. So that is something you might be able to do also if it is meaningful to you, depending on tradition, where you live etc.
Then - hell realms here - there is no external judge in Buddhism imposing anything on you. It is just that through confusion we do things that lead us into suffering, due to our own over rigid, time line based, fixed way of lookingn at things and situations.
So, we have suffering in this life, yes. Also sometimes you have great times too, without a trace of suffering. And same can happen after you die. And same has happened for countless lives in the past. And sometimes those lives are happier and sometimes there is more suffering. And just as some people in this life may experience suffering and hardship for their entire life - well in future lives, not tied to a human body, as other forms of beings, you might suffer even longer, perhaps even for thousands of years, and perhaps more extreme sufferings. And other times might experience bliss and happiness for thousands of years. So the teachings suggest anyway.
But all this has happened countless times in the past, if it is true. Indeed, we are having a short vacation from the suffering of most lifetimes in most human lifetimes where we have things far better, far easier even than most animals.
So then this is our great opportunity to do something about it. So instead of worrying about the hell realms and suffering - they are no big deal in terms of Samsara in the sense that though awful - they are just what is normal for us.
One of the really powerful ways you can do to deal with this sense of hopelessness and despair is to reflect on the precious nature of our human rebirth, and how we have an opportunity to do something about it.
It is also an opportunity to think about others, that they also are in this same situation, and to open out to them as well, in compassion.
As the others have said, a good Buddhist teacher can help you to find your path or "dharma" here. We all have our own paths to follow and what works for me may not work for you. It is also a good idea though to try various teachers if you can.
Also since you mention Vajrayana, good to be aware that especially in the West some teachers can sometimes be confused and think they know what they are talking about when they don't, especially in the Vajrayana traditions.
A few Vajrayana practitioners who teach here are very confused and there are some scary stories about what they have said and things they have asked their students to do on the web. It's good to check them out, and if they are a good teacher then they will have a lineage going back and you can find out if they are teaching with permission of their teacher, and what their lineage says about them. And they will encourage you to examine their teachings carefully and to listen to teachings by other teachers also.
There is no need to take on a Vajrayana guru, and nobody can say they are your guru if you don't feel they are yourself, and traditionally if you did follow that path you follow your teacher for some years, almost always, before making such a commitment, and they also need to know you also equally well, and it is rare for Buddhist practitioners to do this, and is absolutely not required.
I think that for almost all Westerners the best path is a slow gentle one, take things slowly. You have thousands of lifetimes for this. As it is traditionally understood, Matreya, the next Buddha to be, is still not enlightened and won't be for thousands of years.
A few rare people do become enlightened very quickly, where quickly means, within a single lifetime. But for most it is a case of making a good connection with the teachings, and following them as best you can. And start small with things you can deal with right away. While it is of course perfectly okay and great, to have the inspiration of bodhicitta, or the wish that some time in the future you may be inspired to become a bodhisattva though you may not be able to do so yet - to just wish to be a bodhisattva is, in a way, to enter on that path and a powerful blessing and purification in itself.
About the Author
Robert Walker
Writer of articles on Mars and Space issues - Software Developer of Tune Smithy, Bounce Metronome etc.Studied at Wolfson College, Oxford
Lives in Isle of Mull
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