Oh, just to say, a Buddhist monk or nun can hand back their robes at any time. Could be to their preceptor but could be to anyone. You just have to say clearly, to someone who is capable of understanding what you mean, that you hand back your robes, and that's it, you are then no longer a monk or nun.
Easiest thing in the world.
It does happen sometimes. Not necessarily a regret though. More a positive thing, moving on to a new life.
The idea of practicing as a monk is that you practice the discipline side of Buddha's path. Everyone has to find an element of discipline, things like not telling malicious lies, not stealing, non harming (especially in extreme case not murdering others), a basic honesty and straightforward connection with the world.
You practice as a monk if you want to follow a path with a high level of discipline. With the idea that this is actually a form of freedom, by being disciplined in the body, you are free from many of the pre-occupations and attachments and - the "dusty life" of a home owner / dweller. Nowadays there aren't many monks that just wander the countryside, sleep wherever they find themselves, and eating only what they are given on that day. But that's the kind of a path you are following, a path without posessions and encumberances of a material sort.
Now many monks find this is the path they want to follow for the rest of their lives. But some are drawn towards a path that involves getting more involved with the wordly life. Even perhaps getting married, having children. For various reasons. It could be that they just can't keep up the celibate "homeless" life of a monk. But could be that they feel drawn towards a life style that involves interacting more directly in the hurly burly of everyday life. Perhaps it is no longer a big issue for them, whether they have these encumberances or not. Maybe through their meditation and practice they have learnt to work with the world in such a way that they can engage in ordinary daily life without losing direction so much.
It's not a less disciplined life. In a way it is more disciplined, or can be. But - the discipline is a natural one, increasingly, where they don't have to think - am I following this rule - or that rule - but just naturally they behave in ways in accordance with whatever situation they find themselves in. As a result of opening out to situations and losing the barriers most have with others and the world they interact with. When you take that to its extreme you get the "crazy yogins" which are at the far end of the spectrum from the monks. They may behave in ways that seem bizarre, hard to understand, but it's because they are so open to everything around them and are responding immediately and directly to everything. They may be so engaged in daily life they even for instance may often get drunk, may behave in ways that seem inappropriate - yet - not in ways harmful to others. May seem to harm others even, but turns out they aren't doing so.
So in Tibet especially you get a few of those "crazy yogins" at the far end of the spectrum from the monks. It's a rare path as you can imagine; not many can follow such a path without getting ensnared in pre-occupations with possessions, ego trips of all sorts, and so forth.
It's a dangerous path, because it is easy to fool yourself that you are behaving like that, but most are not. And if you are just kind of getting drunk, lazy, doing things that seem bizarre and harmful, and actually are - that's really not good for you at all. You may have a very short life and enter into all sorts of scrapes. The crazy yogis do anyway but they can handle it because they are so open to everything - but if you are not open in the way they are, you are in for a rough life, probably short, and it's not a good deal at all.
In between though you just have those who practice as a lay Buddhist. These are the vast majority. Some of them maybe used to be monks or nuns but no longer are. Most probably never have been a monk or a nun. And in some countries there is a tradition for just about everyone, as a young adult, to take the first stage, novice ordination, for just a few weeks as a young man or woman, to make a connection. Then you hand back the robes, and that's the end of it.
It's all very flexible and depends on the individual what you do, how long you are a monk for, and so on.
In Japan then the ordination of a monk, in Zen Buddhism anyway, is actually a Mahayana ordination based on compassion, rather than on the teachings on discipline. In that tradition, then a monk or nun can get married and engage fully in ordinary lay activities. So then, isn't really any need to hand in your robes, I'm not sure if they do. Because your commitment is to kindness, compassion, opening out, wisdom. And not to any particular path of discipline in your action though general discipline is part of it as it is for any Buddhist.
Oh, and though generally monks wear robes, and it is a commitment to do so if you keep the vows very strictly - but in the Mahayana traditions, it's quite common for some monks to go around without wearing robes. They may feel it creates a barrier between themselves and others. At one point I was sharing a house with several people one of whom was a Tibetan who was a monk, and I never saw him wearing his robes, except in a photograph he showed to me once of himself with the Dalai Lama. It wasn't like a secret, everyone knew he was a monk, but he didn't wear his robes, at least not normally in the UK except on special occasions.
The reason for this variation is that in the teachings of the Buddha, we never got to find out which were the major and which the minor monks and nuns' vows. So it's open to interpretation. Therevadhan schools tend to play safe and assume all the vows are major because we don't know. But in Mahayana schools, well obviously the vow of celibacy, not killing humans etc are major vows. But beyond that, some monks will treat nearly all the other vows, things like handling money, eating after midday, begging for your food, wearing monks' robes etc - as optional rules that they will follow if it is easy on others to do so, but will not follow them if they feel it creates any kind of a barrier or makes issues with communicating with others in any way at all.
Then in the Zen tradition they decided to just ditch the entire monks vows altogether, and instead have ordinations based on the bodhisattva vows of compassion, a radical development. Which is why you have this phenomenon of married Buddhist priests of Japanese temples. Monks, Nuns & Priests in Western Zen
In a related development, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh has the Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings, and his monks and nuns do practice celibacy, but based on the mahayana tradition, basically the same vows but the vow of true love in his fourteen trainings replaced by a vow of celibacy.
Easiest thing in the world.
It does happen sometimes. Not necessarily a regret though. More a positive thing, moving on to a new life.
The idea of practicing as a monk is that you practice the discipline side of Buddha's path. Everyone has to find an element of discipline, things like not telling malicious lies, not stealing, non harming (especially in extreme case not murdering others), a basic honesty and straightforward connection with the world.
You practice as a monk if you want to follow a path with a high level of discipline. With the idea that this is actually a form of freedom, by being disciplined in the body, you are free from many of the pre-occupations and attachments and - the "dusty life" of a home owner / dweller. Nowadays there aren't many monks that just wander the countryside, sleep wherever they find themselves, and eating only what they are given on that day. But that's the kind of a path you are following, a path without posessions and encumberances of a material sort.
Now many monks find this is the path they want to follow for the rest of their lives. But some are drawn towards a path that involves getting more involved with the wordly life. Even perhaps getting married, having children. For various reasons. It could be that they just can't keep up the celibate "homeless" life of a monk. But could be that they feel drawn towards a life style that involves interacting more directly in the hurly burly of everyday life. Perhaps it is no longer a big issue for them, whether they have these encumberances or not. Maybe through their meditation and practice they have learnt to work with the world in such a way that they can engage in ordinary daily life without losing direction so much.
It's not a less disciplined life. In a way it is more disciplined, or can be. But - the discipline is a natural one, increasingly, where they don't have to think - am I following this rule - or that rule - but just naturally they behave in ways in accordance with whatever situation they find themselves in. As a result of opening out to situations and losing the barriers most have with others and the world they interact with. When you take that to its extreme you get the "crazy yogins" which are at the far end of the spectrum from the monks. They may behave in ways that seem bizarre, hard to understand, but it's because they are so open to everything around them and are responding immediately and directly to everything. They may be so engaged in daily life they even for instance may often get drunk, may behave in ways that seem inappropriate - yet - not in ways harmful to others. May seem to harm others even, but turns out they aren't doing so.
So in Tibet especially you get a few of those "crazy yogins" at the far end of the spectrum from the monks. It's a rare path as you can imagine; not many can follow such a path without getting ensnared in pre-occupations with possessions, ego trips of all sorts, and so forth.
It's a dangerous path, because it is easy to fool yourself that you are behaving like that, but most are not. And if you are just kind of getting drunk, lazy, doing things that seem bizarre and harmful, and actually are - that's really not good for you at all. You may have a very short life and enter into all sorts of scrapes. The crazy yogis do anyway but they can handle it because they are so open to everything - but if you are not open in the way they are, you are in for a rough life, probably short, and it's not a good deal at all.
In between though you just have those who practice as a lay Buddhist. These are the vast majority. Some of them maybe used to be monks or nuns but no longer are. Most probably never have been a monk or a nun. And in some countries there is a tradition for just about everyone, as a young adult, to take the first stage, novice ordination, for just a few weeks as a young man or woman, to make a connection. Then you hand back the robes, and that's the end of it.
It's all very flexible and depends on the individual what you do, how long you are a monk for, and so on.
In Japan then the ordination of a monk, in Zen Buddhism anyway, is actually a Mahayana ordination based on compassion, rather than on the teachings on discipline. In that tradition, then a monk or nun can get married and engage fully in ordinary lay activities. So then, isn't really any need to hand in your robes, I'm not sure if they do. Because your commitment is to kindness, compassion, opening out, wisdom. And not to any particular path of discipline in your action though general discipline is part of it as it is for any Buddhist.
Oh, and though generally monks wear robes, and it is a commitment to do so if you keep the vows very strictly - but in the Mahayana traditions, it's quite common for some monks to go around without wearing robes. They may feel it creates a barrier between themselves and others. At one point I was sharing a house with several people one of whom was a Tibetan who was a monk, and I never saw him wearing his robes, except in a photograph he showed to me once of himself with the Dalai Lama. It wasn't like a secret, everyone knew he was a monk, but he didn't wear his robes, at least not normally in the UK except on special occasions.
The reason for this variation is that in the teachings of the Buddha, we never got to find out which were the major and which the minor monks and nuns' vows. So it's open to interpretation. Therevadhan schools tend to play safe and assume all the vows are major because we don't know. But in Mahayana schools, well obviously the vow of celibacy, not killing humans etc are major vows. But beyond that, some monks will treat nearly all the other vows, things like handling money, eating after midday, begging for your food, wearing monks' robes etc - as optional rules that they will follow if it is easy on others to do so, but will not follow them if they feel it creates any kind of a barrier or makes issues with communicating with others in any way at all.
Then in the Zen tradition they decided to just ditch the entire monks vows altogether, and instead have ordinations based on the bodhisattva vows of compassion, a radical development. Which is why you have this phenomenon of married Buddhist priests of Japanese temples. Monks, Nuns & Priests in Western Zen
In a related development, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh has the Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings, and his monks and nuns do practice celibacy, but based on the mahayana tradition, basically the same vows but the vow of true love in his fourteen trainings replaced by a vow of celibacy.
About the Author
Robert Walker
Writer of articles on Mars and Space issues - Software Developer of Tune Smithy, Bounce Metronome etc.Studied at Wolfson College, Oxford
Lives in Isle of Mull
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