There are different ways of interpreting the Buddhist monk's vows. Buddha left a long list of vows to take, but he said some are major vows and some are minor vows and nobody knows which are which, because Ananda forgot to ask him. At least so the tradition goes. The idea is you have to keep to the major vows, but the minor ones are more discretionary.

Since we don't know which are which, then some Buddhists, mainly Therevadhan, think the safest course is to keep them all, or as many as you can, as best you can. while others - mainly the Mahayana traditions, think that out of compassion to others you should keep only the main ones - while keeping to the other ones when it is easy to do so.

Another complication - there are different levels of vows. A young child for instance in Tibetan Buddhism at least may wear monks or nuns robes - but obviously before puberty then it doesn't even make sense to take the full set of vows, even of a novice monk. They are wearing the robes as an indication that they currently want to follow that path in later life.

Then you start as a novice monk or nun, with few vows to take. And the tradition of the full nuns vows was lost in most parts of the world. There is a movement towards reviving it from a few rare traditions that kept it. But many nuns have only taken the novice vows in Buddhist traditions for this reason -= that the full nuns vows have been lost in their tradition. The vows are transmitted from one to another and they think, in a chain of transmission going all the way back to the Buddha. And nobody else has the authority to make up new monks or nuns vows - at least according the vows in the vinaya tradition, so once lost from a tradition, there is no way to recover it again except by getting a transmission of the vows from another tradition.

Then there are many kinds of nun's and monks vows. In the zen tradition nuns can even be married, because it's a mahayana ordination and celibacy is not thought of as essential to the monks or nuns way of life in Japanese Zen Buddhism. They have a tradition of married ordained priests there.

You also get the "vows for a day" -  that you can take on the monks or nuns vows, but a very limited set of them, for a single day.

So, you have no idea what vows she has taken. Or how she interprets them either, and what tradition, what the advice was given to her by the preceptor and those who she gets teachings from and so on.

Certainly many monks and nuns in Buddhist traditions do handle money and buy things in shops. There is a rule that they shouldn't do that if they have taken full ordination - but many traditions treat that as one of the minor rules that are optional.

Celibacy is obviously central, except in the traditions like Zen Buddhism with married monks and nuns, and not killing a human being, and several other ones. But on other vows like not handling money, and not eating after noon, then some keep them strictly, and others not at all.

As for whether it is deplorable of you - really - nobody cares probably. I expect she is used to getting people judging her for this, that and whatnot else., and unless you say something, how could she even know?

The most important thing in disciplining oneself in the Buddhist traditions is to restrain your conduct. Stop things such as killing people - not a problem for most of us - telling the most harmful lies, acts of extreme aggression, also to restrain from taking drugs that severely cloud your judgement (because they could lead to any of those other actions), sexual misconduct (which depends on the society you are in  whether and what counts as sexual misconduct - it depends on the expectations of others in your society and whether your actions are hurting them) and stealing things from others.

That gives you the space to find some stability, to open out to others and respond to them and to learn and follow your path.

And yes, some mental discipline and mindfulness is worthwhile also. Especially if you tend to get very angry, and then go out of control through anger, then there's probably a need to do something about that. Or lying, if you are a habitual liar and can't stop yourself from saying really harmful things to others.

But things like this, whether some thought passes through your mind that may or may not be harmful, and you aren't even sure if it is - they aren't the things we really need to pay close attention to. They will probably just sort themselves out as you develop a healthier attitude to your life. At least if following the Buddhist path.

And indeed if you are meditating too - then depending how you are taught, but generally the idea is that if such thoughts arise, you just let them arise, and let them pass away.

You don't try to stamp them out - that just leads to more turbulence in your mind. Rather - interested, but not carried away by them either. A good teacher will help by telling you how to relate to thoughts like that as they arise in meditation. I won't try to say in detail because I'm not a Buddhist teacher :).

But - it's an interesting experience when you get thoughts like this. Tells you a bit about how people think, others also not just yourself. It's a valuable thing to understand such things and recognize that you do this. Without getting heavy and feeling you have to stamp it out - just see that this happens. And then it may well just sort itself out, if it is an issue at all.